Tired of Selfies? Then You’ll Love Selfie Stick 2.0.
Face it. It is a little annoying isn’t it? Everywhere you go, everyone is swanking around town like they’re Gods gift to the world, puckering their cheeks, making cute kissing faces and snapping selfies. Ughh, that word. SELFIES, it even sounds annoying.
And now people are swagging around with their phones on sticks so they can make it look like someone else took the picture. RUBBISH. Can you imagine John Wayne or Ernest Hemingway taking a selfie? Ya think Ronald Reagan ever took one? Not on your life pal. Maybe a self portrait and that is if they even had a camera or even cared what they hell anyone else thought. Selfies my ass.
Introducing Selfie Stick 2.0
Thanks to modern technology or perhaps just to spite it, we’re proud to launch Selfie Stick 2.0. This new generation of selfie stick will appeal to a broad, broad swath of society.
Yet, instead of being inspired by and launched by millennials this new stick will draw from a more old fashioned and time tested technology. It’s the original stick we sometimes refer to as “The Cane”.
Selfie Stick 2.0 is technology at its finest. Simple, Intuitive and Solves a Big Problem.
Selfie Stick Operating Procedures
Selfie Stick 2.0 comes with a rather simple operating manual. The steps are really quite simple. There are only 3
Step 1 – Spot The Opportunity.
See someone taking a particularly annoying selfie and feel the inner rage boiling over inside you? Now there is something you can do about it. Quickly grip your Selfie Stick 2.0 and approach the subject.
Uh oh. Someone needs to be taught a lesson. Grip your Selfie Stick 2.0 and approach.
Step 2 – Hit Repeatedly.
Unleash your pent up anger and wipe that duck face off the subjects face and show them the err of their ways. Feel free to really let them have it.
I didn’t fight in WW2 just for this fool to wreck everything good on God’s Green Earth.
Step 3 Congratulate Yourself.
Reflect a moment and let it all soak in how you are making the world a better place. Face it. For every selfie taken, an angel somewhere in heaven begins to cry. By ridding the world of selfies, one at a time you are not only saving our country but you’re making angels happier.
Thumbs up you early adopter Selfie Stick 2.0 Man