Young Bridget Torches Both Josh and Matt With Poetry

Today, a search through the archives produced a startlingly brutal war of words. In the document, a young 7th grade Bridget McKenna torches both Josh and Matt in the most civilized ways possible – through poetry.

In the document, which is attached here for your viewing pleasure, Bridget scandalizes Josh’s face with this classic:

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a Tuffet

But Josh Scared her away

with his face.

And if you think Matt was going to get away scot-free, think again.  Because he gets it royally here:

The Farmer in the Dell

The Farmer in the Dell

The Cow Killed Matt.

In this document several things are revealed including; Josh eats dog poo,  Josh already has illegitimate children despite being only 13 years old, the fact that Old King Cole hated Matt, Jack once got 3rd degree burns from a candle stick, 3 blind mice ate Josh’s eyes, Matt smells, and Matts a Jerk.

Check it out for yourself here.