For Sale – Volvo 1998. Cherry Condition. Freeway Miles. Loaded with Extras

Posted on Jul 26, 2017 in Family

Full Disclosure.  This car is for #winners only.  If you ain’t got the “look” and can’t live, eat and breathe the Volvo lifestyle, I suggest you move on.  This is for A Teamer’s only. Guys with a Big League attitude and chicks that Run the Show like Ivanka Trump.  Millionaire mindset only need apply.

I got Pink slip in hand — Fully paid for with commissions earned selling home & auto insurance. I call this little lady, “Poison Ivy” and I am willing to sell it to the right person.  But I may not sell it. So you’ll have to convince me.  Don’t be a douche about it though.

Now, let’s get to the fun stuff.  Feast your chops on what this car has got:

Original chasse, boosted 6 cylinder fuel injection (very rare), elite power steering, Goodyear Radials 50k, Blaupunkt CC24 Receiver With Removable Face , Bangin Alpine subwoofers, Rear Seat Stabilizers, Extreme Power Lock and Jocks  (All 4 Doors), Candy Apple RotorBlades,  Shock Master 600’s with Backend Booster for near-rocket-powered stabilization  – Military Grade (don’t ask me how I scored that but I did),  Original Halogen 800’s – those suckers will blind you like the sun so don’t look directly at them,  rebuilt engine with after market slick lube belly jelly extender, steel blade “Tommy Bumpers” test graded to 15 miles an hour (feel free to bump and grind your way into tight spots- I do). Top that baby off with Hilfiger Ski Racks (4th Generation) and Vivendi Imported Car Mats – same ones Liberace used in his Rolls Royce.  And this is just the start.  I got so many extras in this little lady that I can’t possibly fit it on a page.

Anyway is This Enough for you?  Probably too much for you is the answer.   Could I go on?  Yes.  Will I go on? Maybe. You’ll have to convince me why I should though.

BTW — if you pick up a deuce (DUI) and need some sr22 insurance to get your license back — I’m your man.