A Call From Attorney Hal Fleishman

Posted on Feb 24, 2015 in Funny

For going on the better part of 20 years, my persistent brother Bill has been leaving me voicemail messages from various characters and personas. Inevitably, when he can’t reach me and gets my voicemail, I will get a call much like the one that you are going to listen to.

He never disguises his voice, and with caller ID, I can clearly see that the voicemail messages come from his phone, but he will still leave them for me and they are quite interesting.

In almost all cases they are from an attorney, a detective, an investigator or a would be client that is interested or upset about whatever business or company that I happen to be working with at the time.  He will always weave in an angle that has something to do with “poop”, “hernias”, or other embarrassing things.  There have probably been at lest 20-30 of these characters through the years.

Here are a few of the ones I recall

1995 – The SkidMark Detective

In 1995 there was the “SkidMark Detective” that wanted to contact me regarding possible neighbors he was investigating for potential skid mark crimes.  I was working as a fraud investigator and “Skip Tracer” at the time locating people and would often call neighbors to try to locate suspects of people I was looking for.

1999 – Mobile Hernia Check Van Recruiter

In 1999, I got a call from a recruiter wanting to know if I was interested in becoming a driver for one of their Mobile Hernia Van’s that would tour the city doing “Free Hernia Checks” for guys.  Full training program was provided so no experience was necessary.

2009 – The “Magic Jack” Prospect

I used to use a phone service from a company called Magic Jack and for some reason when it rolled to message it would announce “magic jack”.  Well a got a message from a one “Howard” who was very interested in what sort of services I might be offering with a name like “Magic Jack” and what sort of things we could arrange because he’d never heard of something as appealing as a “Magic Jack”.

2015 – Patent Attorney

And, well tonight, I got a call from one Hal Fleishman, an attorney wanting to go “mano a mano” for a patent and copyright infringement of my company with his company.  Ultimately of course looking to duel it out with a sword fight.